May 18th, 2012

one can think about it a whole lifetime and never find an answer

Lately, I've taken an interest in books on philosophy. It's something I've always wanted to become a little more keen on; the different schools of thought and perspectives.

Philosophy is one of those things that a person could read a million books on and theorize on everything from A to Z and never come to a conclusive answer. I guess that is what makes it appealing to me to learn about; to ponder the unknown, and come to different 'understandings' which help you to grow as an individual.

And so I find myself, late at night, lying in bed with the glow from the street lights outside shining in, reading excerpts from various different books until sleep comes to me at last.

May 17th, 2012

self-imposed timeout

As much as I sometimes dislike unsolicited advice being given to me, there are times when it's due to be given and/or received I think. Usually this point comes after I've given the situation a fair 'listen' and when I care about a person so much; to the point where it'd be a crime not to say something.

A good friend of mine got into some trouble with his significant other. He didn't do anything fatally wrong per se but he did tell a lie, one that got him in trouble. Listening to his story, I could easily see how it happened. It's one of those situations where you are caught between telling a 'small lie' to avoid having them unnecessarily worry versus telling the truth and them potentially worrying or becoming jealous because of it. In short, he was talking to another woman and jealousy flared up. The fact that he lied about it to avoid her worrying just made it worse.

I've always felt that relationships are based around trust. I'm a strong believer that telling the truth, even if it's not something the other person wants to hear, leads to the least amount of trouble in the long run. After all, I expect a certain degree of truthfulness from the people I share my life with: friends, family, sig-others and so I should expect to give the same as well, right?

I'm not infalible. The years have taught me that. I tell white lies on occasion and feel bad about it later; I'd like to believe that they are becoming fewer and far between. I strive for it because I always feel so guilt ridden long after the fact if I'm not truthful. So why even bother lying in the slightest?

And thus, I passed my viewpoint on to him, my friend, to take it or leave it as he saw fit. He wanted to go out on Friday, drink a few beers and unwind. I advised against it and told him that perhaps he should spend the next few days reflecting on what he did, giving it serious thought, and basically put himself on 'timeout' to show both himself and her that he was serious and committed. And most of all, sorry.

The easy way out, would be to indulge oneself, party hard and drink your worries away. The longer, more arduous but perhaps better way would be to look within oneself and find that genuine apology and show, really show that you meant every word of it through action; through not doing the aforementioned.

I hope that everything works out fine for him. He's a really great guy, someone that I'd trust to be there for me, and one who at the end of the day means well. The both of them are soooo meant for each other and I know they'll see it through.

I believe that next to Love, trust is second to none.

May 16th, 2012

two years later

It's been two years and even though I'm not a patient in it, I still feel a slight sense of apprehension every time I set foot in the hospital.

Perhaps it's a part of my life I want to avoid thinking about. Although a life lesson, perhaps I want to try to keep it a subconscious one at that.

I can't help but feel a sense of relief as I exit the glass doors and set foot on the green grass, and inhale that first breathe of the fresh air.

May 15th, 2012

curveball

Every once in a while life throws you a curveball. Today, it seems that my grandfather found his way into the hospital.

It seems, thankfully, somewhat minor in that he might have dehydrated and fainted. Not too serious except that he is 90 years old...so ya....

I've always looked up to him as he's been a sort of role model to me. Likely the most integrity I've ever seen in a person, honest through and through and, overall, in excellent health for his age.

He'll be ok, I know it. He's stronger than I'll ever be, that's for sure.

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